Finding Your Own Reality

I was struck by a Hebrew word concept I want to share with you. I was talking to a woman I met this past week and she was sharing some of the heartaches she has been experiencing and then she concluded—”Well, this is my reality. This is my life. This is what I have to deal with.” I could not, of course, argue with her, because all the things she mentioned were true. Her life seems really hard. But it got me thinking about the word reality. Is reality always real? Is reality outside of our control? Are we powerless when it comes to our reality? I recall a few years back I was working with someone with whom I kept on getting in conflicts. It made me miserable. I felt awful that for whatever reason this person and I were not getting along. That summer I went with my husband to Las Vegas and I remember as I am sitting by the pool that even though that was my reality, I could not accept it. I vowed to have a positive relationship with this person. What motivated me was the fact that comes September, when the High Holy Days roll around, I have the important task of inspiring others to do the right thing, to feel good about their lives, to be the best person that they can be. And how can I achieve that feeling somewhat miserable myself? So, I concluded that my present reality is not good enough. What did I do? Upon returning home, I decided that I will propose a weekly meeting with this individual, so we can really get a chance to build a relationship. And to my great relief, that person agreed. Later on, he told me that he wanted to do the same thing but was afraid of a rejection. I, looking back, took the chances and did . I took charge and action in that which was making me sad and unhappy. I knew that the only person who I can expect to change their ways is me. In truth, I can only be in charge of me. And then I thought about the word “reality”  in Hebrew. Metzee-oot.  And it shares the same Hebrew root with another word Matza which means to find. So what is reality? It is something you find. And how do you find it? By often helping to create it.  This is where I am now in my life—I am helping to create my reality. Not only because I left the job I had for 16 years and I am trying something new. I am helping myself by creating a reality that I like and can approve of.

Now, I know, some of you will say that not everyone can make their own reality. And sometimes you are born into a reality and you cannot change it. I will challenge those who say it because I believe that there is always something, as small as it may that we, as individuals, can do. Always. As little as it can be, it is a step forward, closer to the reality that you want. Close to you feeling better about your situation.

So, friends, what are you working on finding? What do you want your reality to be? Make it happen- You’ve got this!


All my best,


One Response

  • I love this idea Dorice. I do believe that we do not have control over things that come at us in life, but our reality is created by how we respond to those events, and how we chose to act given that “reality.” If we see, we can find ways to learn from and grow from events. THAT is our reality! Thank you for your thoughtful posts and videos and good luck with the coming adventure!

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